Having members with neuro-difficulties - how do you know and what do you do?

Discussion in 'Members & Staff' started by Lisa, Mar 1, 2019.

  1. mysiteguy

    mysiteguy Devotee

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    I had a thought just now, that puts this into simple terms how I deal with this:

    A. As a member of my community, I can get involved in a conversation about issues in someone's life, offer advice and share experience.
    B. When I wear the admin hat, however, that has to be set aside.

    We often say in my private mod forum sections: "Put on your mod hat." Meaning, to set aside any personal feelings and/or relationship with the person aside, and look at their actions objectively. Case A is the human part of us as part of a greater community. Case B is the part of us who must act as an impartial judge - not to advocate or prosecute. :)
     
  2. Lisa

    Lisa Chaotically Proportional

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    My daughter is autistic :) Never a dull moment! I agree that they shouldn't be treated with kid gloves, but I do believe that there are times and situations where extra perseverance and a little patience explaining the rules in a manner they understand can work wonders. My daughter has the same rules and discipline the rest of my kids have, they're just explained a little differently so she gets it.
     
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  3. Maddox

    Maddox Habitué

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    It seems that you are one of the few who get what I have been trying, perhaps poorly at times, to put across. It takes patience, understanding and a smattering of compassion to deal with people who have issues that often set them aside from others, mainly because the 'others' don't have the patience, understanding and compassion needed to interact with those with issues. As admins, we are supposed to be the Kings and Queens of our communities and be able to have these qualities so that we can dispense the rules and regulations with some degree of tolerance for those who need a little extra help.

    I'm out of here and I am out of this site too. Any admin who has access to my account - delete it.
     
  4. Lisa

    Lisa Chaotically Proportional

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    I prefer the term "god" :ROFLMAO:

    Wait? What?
     
  5. cornnfedd

    cornnfedd Captain Futurama

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    spot on mate 100%
     
  6. we_are_borg

    we_are_borg Administrator

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    How do you other kids react, i only know autistic people that are only child so they have enough time for him. With more childeren how can you make more time you must be god like.
     
  7. Lisa

    Lisa Chaotically Proportional

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    React in what sense? To my daughter in general? To the methods we use for her? To life?

    Of course I'm godlike... have you learned nothing? :ROFLMAO::LOL::p

    I actually think it's benefitted her having so many siblings. It's probably forced her to learn coping mechanisms earlier than an only child suffering with similar difficulties to her. Bear in mind that Autism is an umbrella term and no two people with that label are the same.
     
  8. we_are_borg

    we_are_borg Administrator

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    I know the autism spectrum is very large and you have mild to very serious that they almost not function in the normal world. In the Netherlands people get more aware of this so when there is a fair they have a day that they turn down music and lights for an hour or two. This way people that can’t handle this can still go to the fair.

    Well i presume you need more time with your daughter then the other children are they for example jealous. I know that mom’s and dad’s are god like, while i like children and can take care of them for a couple of hours i dont want to know that you need to take care 24/7.
     
  9. Lisa

    Lisa Chaotically Proportional

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    This has slowly started gaining traction in the UK as well. During the Christmas period, especially, I spotted a number of stores having "autism-friendly" evenings where they opened the stores specifically for those with kids on the spectrum. Seeing that was pretty cool, I have to say.

    We've been quite lucky. She's not so far on the spectrum where she needs monitoring 24/7. She's 13, but is mentally closer to 7 or 8, although she has days were we say she's more "switched on" and acts closer to her actual age. She can do most things herself - she just needs more repetition and instruction.

    The others aren't jealous at all. In fact, my oldest (she's 16 and just started taking her A-Levels) is aiming toward becoming a Child Psychologist, specialising in ASD and other neuro-disorders. I'd say that's mostly due to her interaction with her sister.
     
  10. we_are_borg

    we_are_borg Administrator

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    It should be law so people that else cant do shopping or going out can do it.

    Nice that he wants to help people its good to see that they want this. My nephew wants to be in care to the education he does can get him in hospital, ambulance or care for people,, its because of his grandparents.

    The once i know with autism are functioning normal as can be, you really needto know about it.
     
  11. mysiteguy

    mysiteguy Devotee

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    It seems a bit of an extreme reaction from a moderator advocating staff patience when dealing with other people.
     
  12. mysiteguy

    mysiteguy Devotee

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    Rules can be framed so they are easy to understand:
    • Don't be mean. Treat people the way you want them to treat you. Defamatory, derogatory, sexist, illegal activity, malicious, and racist topics or links are not allowed.
    The bold pretty much distills it.
     
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  13. Nev_Dull

    Nev_Dull Anachronism

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    While I respect your choice to put the rules first, I do find some of what you're saying confusing.

    You pointed to that article as a good measuring stick in dealing with autistic individuals, yet you seem to ignore one of the most important statements in it: "Those rules may need to be modified or bent, depending upon the circumstances."

    I also have to disagree that your rule "Don't be mean. Treat people the way you want them to treat you." is easy to understand. I'd call it an extremely subjective statement with vast space for interpretation. Personally, I like it, but for someone with Autism, Aspergers, brain injury, or some other mental illness who may not have the "normal" social filters for what they say or how they say it, a statement like that is not very useful.

    As I said, I don't have a problem if an admin says, 'the rules are the rules'. However, for those who choose to take a more humanist approach to members, it doesn't have to be a huge amount of work to think about an issue like this and come up with some approaches forum staff can use to help guide these members towards becoming valuable contributors.
     
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  14. we_are_borg

    we_are_borg Administrator

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