demanding members, god help me.

Discussion in 'Members & Staff' started by Aliciasace, Aug 16, 2010.

  1. Julia

    Julia Fan

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    I've never had somebody bombard me via email like this (thankfully). I have had over zealous members though and when this happens to me, I thank the person for their feedback & tell them I will discuss with the mods/think about it.

    When somebody starts to become too demanding, I deliberately delay my response to them to keep them waiting & then apologise & tell them I've am busy with other site issues.

    I think some people are just too enthusiastic & have way too much time on their hands and don't realise that your life doesn't revolve 100% around the forums. I like to say "I will look at it when I get a chance"...

    I definitely think you need to point out that she should post in the forums suggestions forum & not via email.
     
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  2. noodleman

    noodleman Enthusiast

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    Tell them nicely to stop asking you directly. Say that if you have question about a feature or you want to suggest a feature to ask about it in the "feedback and suggestions" forum. If you don't have a feedback and suggestions forum, I suggest you add one :yup:

    This way your not telling the member to stop asking, so you won't lose them. But you'll get them to stop PMing you and ask the questions on the forums, which you or any other member or moderator can answer when your ready.

    Good luck!
     
  3. Akela

    Akela viam aut inveniam...

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    I'd give you karma for the above post, but the system tells me that I have to wait a bit :(

    Aliciasace, the problem with having someone this opinionated in such an [unofficial] position of power on your forum is that if you wait too long to "set her straight", many of your members will oppose it.

    You will save yourself a lot of stress, if you can bring yourself to follow Nev_Dull's advice early on.
     
  4. LeadCrow

    LeadCrow Apocalypse Admin

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    Youre letting this member bombard you personally with requests. You're too close for your own good, here.

    Tell the member to post his inquires and suggestions in your site feedback section, so that they are pitted and responded to by other members.
    This effectively buys you time if you prefer to see it that way, and you get the water felt without necessitating to waste your own time deepthinking each of them.

    If the member continues to nag you personally, advise that youre a busy person, are taken by other more pressing tasks, and request that he posts his suggestions in the public section for feedback, and that you'll check it out later.
     
  5. Aliciasace

    Aliciasace Enthusiast

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    Ok thanks for your advice guys. I know what i need to do but its such a hard thing to do considering I have followed quite a few of her ideas and met her demands.

    Recently though theyve just been getting ridiculous, with her wanting me to spend $50 on this and $50 on that for things that I believe would not even be used or help the forum at all.
     
  6. Edrondol

    Edrondol Aspirant

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    Lose the user or your sanity. I see very little middle ground.
     
  7. Namorat

    Namorat Fanatic

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    As everything said, put her straight, don't reply to every single email or pm and if you do tell her to use the forum for suggestions.

    Tell her to stop acting as if she has any official power, because if she does act this way towards the user of another forum, especially someone you had trouble with, she probably does so at your forum. If you haven't noticed it openly, she probably does so secretly.
    I can't imagine her not trying to usurp some power, either because she is mindless or because of some malicious intent. Make her stop.
    A variation of what has been said: Eventually it is better to lose her than to lose your forum/integrity.
     
  8. Aliciasace

    Aliciasace Enthusiast

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    i have another question. basically i just added a mod so i can see users pms, yes i know many people dont agree with it but i needed to check out this member.

    They've been sending welcome mails to EVERY single member telling them things about all the features im going to add (many that ive not agreed to ).

    Quite a few of the members dont reply

    are her welcome mails a bad or good thing
     
  9. Edrondol

    Edrondol Aspirant

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    Bad, bad, BAD, badbadbadbadbadbad!!!!!

    At this point I'd tell her point blank she either stops acting like an official or she's banned.

    Jesus I feel for you!

    And I TOTALLY rescind anything I ever said about making her a mod. That was a bad idea the more information I get. At first I thought she was merely annoying, not certifiably insane.
     
  10. noodleman

    noodleman Enthusiast

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    At this point I'd ban her. Because every other member will think that your going to do this and that when you don't even want to ... but all your members will be expecting it. I'd either:

    1. Ban her.

    2. Take away her ability to PM. Yes, you may lose her, but its better than letting her keep doing what she's doing.
     
  11. Namorat

    Namorat Fanatic

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    As I said... She is acting in a way that hurts you.. Tell her to stop or better ban her. Really, she is hurting you, she is hurting your forum.
     
  12. MichelleC

    MichelleC Drupal AF Developer

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    Others have already given you good advice so I just want to offer sympathy. Building a forum can be a lonely thing as you struggle to get it moving all on your own. Having someone passionate like that must be very hard to turn away, even if it's best for the forum in the long run. :(

    Michelle
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Akela

    Akela viam aut inveniam...

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    Alicia, would you mind updating us on what happened later? :)
     
  14. JessJ

    JessJ Enthusiast

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    Agreed..I see s/he is now a mod.
     
  15. Akela

    Akela viam aut inveniam...

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    Who is a mod? Has Alicia posted the URL of her forum? If so, I missed it...
     
  16. lil_mail1998

    lil_mail1998 Aspirant

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    She posted the link to her forum in the post below. Unfix did become a mod.

     
  17. Akela

    Akela viam aut inveniam...

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  18. Crazylegs999

    Crazylegs999 Aspirant

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    Add a Paypal button and point her towards it, people are less keen on splashing the cash when it's their own.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. krisDOTco

    krisDOTco Adherent

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    Dangerous, very dangerous.

    As others have said, she is convinced that she speaks for the forum. These users are tiresome indeed, and are in no way good for the forum. If something goes right, she will claim credit for it - alternatively, if it goes wrong, she'll hound you until you fix it, and then tell everyone she got it fixed because she's best-o-buds with the admin.

    I recommend being very careful here. If you ban her, she will come back and cause trouble - I guarantee this. What you need to do is freeze her out somewhat - stop responding to her, stop giving her attention. She'll quickly go somewhere else where her demands for validation are met. If you ban her, you're opening up a whole new can of worms.

    She may be crazy (as in actually, crazy) so be cautious with how you deal with her. This is all the advice I have to give, unfortunately.

    Good luck!
     
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